Bit Rot

[tiger_spot]

My previous theme broke somehow. Poll bars started displaying vertically smeared all over the screen. It was decorative but hard to read. Therefore, new theme. Advantage -- tag cloud! Disadvantage -- icons over to the right in a less noticeable spot.

Let me know if you see anything broken and I will poke at it some more.

Also I am bored but should not be distracted for too long. Know any good jokes?

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

All the jokes I know are bad or terrible.

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Terrible jokes are OK too! For instance:

What do you call a frog with two broken legs?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I dunno.

But I do know the one about Ole going fishing. Do you know the one about Ole going fishing?

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

What do you call a frog with two broken legs?

Un-hoppy.


I do not know the one about Ole going fishing. What happened when Ole went fishing?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

*listens in*

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

So Ole was going ice fishing. And he cut himself a hole in the ice and he settled down on his stool and snuggled up into his parka and put his line down and waited.

And a thundering voice came from above and said, "OLE! DERE ARE NO FISH UNDER DAT ICE!"

Startled, Ole got up and moved to a different patch of ice. He drilled another hole in the ice, settled himself on his stool, put his line down, and waited.

But the thundering voice sounded again: "OLE! DERE ARE NO FISH UNDER DAT ICE!"

Ole was shaken to his very core. He'd been a good Lutheran all his life, but never before had he had an experience like this. He got up another time and moved to yet another patch of ice. But before he could drill the third hole, the thundering voice sounded, "OLE! I AM TELLING YOU! DIS IS DE RINK MANAGER! DERE ARE NO FISH UNDER DAT ICE!"

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Ah! I do know that one, I just didn't know it was Ole. That Ole, he gets in all the trouble. :)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

This is an old joke, but it is my favourite joke ever:

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

(Also, I still know a great many elephant jokes, if those would help.)

[brooksmoses]

Somewhere, on a very random blog of a Chinese graduate student, I came across an elephant joke that perfectly summed up my doctoral dissertation.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Put the trunk of the elephant into the refrigerator. As for the other parts of the elephant, we merely consider them to be a source term. The task is done!

[brooksmoses]

My brother's friend used to use that joke as a metric of whether or not one had achieved a certain level of silly-from-being-up-too-late.

I have once been up late enough with him and my brother that it was side-splittingly hilarious. Of course, at that point so was the word "set", called out as one was playing the game of the same name.

[alecaustin.livejournal.com]

Like Mris, all the jokes I know are really bad.

There are the jokes about conquerors (What's green and conquers Asia Minor?), and the jokes about mountain lions (How strongly should you react when a mountain lion misbehaves?), and the jokes about tusked prescients (What has great big tusks and sees the future?) and... Yeah. All terrible.

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

What's green and conquers Asia Minor?

Alexander the Pickle? I am more familiar with the purple version, which is Alexander the Grape. But there are green grapes, too, so now I'm kind of second-guessing myself. ("But herring don't whistle!")

I don't know either of the other ones....

[alecaustin.livejournal.com]

It's Alexander the Grape. Green or purple is fine - I almost wrote Green/Purple, but decided against the ambiguity.

How strongly should you react when a Mountain Lion misbehaves?

You should use puma-tive measures. (Pronounced ala Smothers Brothers, i.e. "Pew-ma".)

What has great big tusks and sees the future?

Mastodamus.

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Those are really bad.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Zorn's lemon!

[davidgoldfarb.livejournal.com]

I've been noticing that thing with polls too! Particularly on James Nicoll's journal, he does a lot of polls. How did you make that go away?

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

I just switched to another theme, which you can do here. "Flexible Squares," which I was using, must have something in the CSS that's interacting badly with whatever changed recently (it didn't always do this), but most of the other themes don't seem to. I had to poke around a bit to find one for which I could turn off the irritating parts. This is a version of "Minimalism," which as it is apparently a LiveJournal-developed theme is unlikely to break in any horrible ways. Possibly if you get deep into the customizing you could just fix it -- it looks like the height value on the gradient that fills the poll bars is somehow being kept proportional to the width value, rather than remaining constant as it should -- but I don't know how to do that.

[davidgoldfarb.livejournal.com]

I too was using "Flexible Squares" (it had the advantage that if someone posted a large picture, only that entry on my friends page would get large, not all of them). Thanks for the tip.

[cobalt-00.livejournal.com]

What do vegan zombies like?

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

GRAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINS!


I need a vegan zombie icon. I think the chickens are the closest I've got, and they eat bugs and only look slightly zomboid when molting.